I feel like abortions should bother me more
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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