I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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