HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
