Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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