i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my shit smells like andre
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
