you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
