Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
