i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
