Small penises have feelings too.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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