She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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