You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
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Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
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I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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