i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
