the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We are two peas in an std pod
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
