Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
