OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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