I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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