VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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