She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
