he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
