is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
