Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
