Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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