i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
