I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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