everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
