he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
