i love accidental penises.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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