Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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