I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
