my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
