The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You are the jesus of drinking
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
