Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
