that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I have fence marks all over my body
I need water and some morals
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I did not marry a roomba.
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