Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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