omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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