i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
