try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
