Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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