I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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