If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
