I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
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I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
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I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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