You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
