Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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