Who did Billy Mays play for?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
