ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
