I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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