So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm just crazy horny about you
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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