If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
