he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
NoShamevember. You game?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
