Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
