do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
