How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
