Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
