You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
