My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize