I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
