Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize