He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize